So much gray, so much chill and so much wet adds up to so much longing - this is pretty much summing up spring for me so far. It arrived on March 19th, a little over 3 weeks ago, and my radiator is still pushing out significant heat.
I have a morning ritual that involves a request to Spirit by an open window and then drinking a full glass of water (thank you Sonia Choquette). And though I love the heat on my bare feet by the radiator vent below the open window - I wonder how much more chilly gray and windy wet can there be?
The trees are half budded, the usual first flowers of spring have sprung only to be battered into submission, with some, surely, refusing to make an appearance at all. And, I have yet to catch sight of a robin.
The mourning doves, with their plaintive cries, hide under my window air conditioner unit during downpours. I’m confused - I can only imagine how off balance they must be.
So how do those doves do it?
Maybe they actually have the skinny on spring. Maybe they know, and remember, it takes a lot of power to push through - dirt, gathering of nest materials and budding to blossom often in challenging weather.
But as I say hello to the life that surrounds me, I whisper - “don’t worry. You can do it. I just know you can.” And as I wonder why I am feeling a tad bit, or a whole wad of, gloomy - I quietly hear the roar of my surroundings, “buck up buttercup and have a little faith. It doesn’t take much to brighten a spirit - a bloom here, a bird song there, or sidewalk sunshine for 10 minutes. We’re still on the job.”
And they are. I know that. Somewhere I know that. But sometimes, I just want it to hurry up.
There’s so much give and take. So much despair. So much hope. So much pain. So much beauty. So much possibility. So many things all at once.
And yes, breathing out. And then in. Helps.
Because the sun does manage to appear. And my heart smiles and my spirit is lifted just because. And then there’s an earthquake in a few days, followed, in another few days, by a complete solar eclipse.
Soooo much. Of everything.
And I do wonder what’s next. It’s impossible not to.
Maybe that’s what spring is all about. The next-ness. And acceptance and trust of that next-ness with unbridled determination and appreciation.
Okay. Go doves. Go us.
💜 Cindy
2B in Brooklyn